Rules of Etiquette for Inexperienced Cats
When your owner returns home laden with packages, fall down in front of them — this works best on steps, all the better if the individual is proceeding downward. There is always the chance you may get stepped on, but this usually guarantees a fall and it you milk their guilt that follows it is usually worth it. Should you run into a closed sliding glass door or do anything stupid, never let on as much and go about your business as if “I meant to do that.”
If you allow a dog to share your domain you are in luck. Should you tatter the drapes or destroy anything for which you fear retribution, wait until your owner (misnomer if there ever was one) is nearby, slap the dog and run for it. Dogs are stupid and will accept blame for anything. If this ruse should fail simply run and hide. No one really expects to catch a cat. Chase, frolic, and run from invisible entities. The why doesn’t matter, it is just expected.
Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing at night between 2 and 4 a.m. Final Note: ALWAYS walk ON the keyboard!From Harold Reynolds