Funny Pet Storys

The cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job.
The cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity.
The cat does not yowl; he is singing off-key.
The cat is not a “treat-seeking missile;” she enjoys the proximity of food.
The cat is not a chatterbox; she is advising me on what to do next.
The cat is not a lap fungus; he is bed selective.
The cat is not a ruthless hunter; she is a wildlife control expert.
The cat is not fat; he is mass enhanced.
The cat is not underfoot; she is shepherding me to the next destination, the food dish.