Funny Pet Storys

It’s ok to wear the same things everyday.

Sleeping is very underrated, … as is stretching.

Never crack your knuckles.

Grooming requires a serious time commitment.

Remember to wash behind your ears, in between your toes and under your arms.

Keep your nails trimmed and hair clean.

Pee without getting any on your feet.

Eat when you’re hungry, when you’re not hungry, play with your food.

If you don’t see it, ask for it.

Counters are the best place to sit in a kitchen.

Show some discretion.

Don’t burp in public.

Have no qualms about sharing a plate of food, or eating leftovers.

Drink milk.

Try not to obsess about cholesterol.

Be hard to leave.

Notice squirrels, investigate shadows, and chase butterflies.

Make your own hours.

Shred all documents.

Money is only paper.

Be curious.

Get to know people in high places, somehow.

Don’t be afraid to take chances.

Take a moment to recover your dignity, but don’t dwell on the past too much.

Don’t always come when you are called.

Try new things.

Take time to eat some flowers.

Stare unabashedly.

Test limits.

Be tolerant, but not overly accommodating.

Get mad when you are stepped on.

Forget that you were stepped on.

Know all the sunny places.

Sometimes you can’t explain your actions.

Sometimes you can’t explain yourself.

Have a sneeze that is the envy of others.

Make yourself vulnerable, but don’t be afraid to bite the hand that feeds you.

Challenge yourself.

Share your victories.

Recycle.

Exercise daily.

Go barefoot.

Obey your instincts.

Claim your own chair.

Flaunt your hair loss.

Vary your hangouts.

Make the world your playground.

Recognize the toy in everything.

Make the most of unstructured time.

There is always time for a nap.

Be easy to come home to.

Show affection and contentment.

Everyone is entitled to an occasional mood swing.

The faster you run upstairs, the more likely you are to forget why you went up there in the first place.

There is nothing wrong with changing your mind.

Love unconditionally.

Avoid company you do not like.

Accept that all company may not like you.

Depend on others without losing your independence.

Enjoy your own company.

Be a good listener.

Invite yourself to dinner.

Don’t drool.

Scratch when and where it itches.

Get used to silences.

Be entertaining, strike poses, wiggle your ears.

Jump right into the middle of things.

Just because you’re home, you don’t have to answer the phone.

Ask for attention.

Feel no guilt.

Use negative attention getting tactics only as a last resort.

Ignore television.

Yawn like you really mean it.

Find a good lap to curl up in.

Be soft.

Be cool.

Be mysterious.

Be able to make someone feel better just by being there.

Make people wonder what you do at night.

Be good at finding things in the dark.

Have a warm bed.

Be loved.

Dream.

 

Comments(0)