Funny Pet Storys

Now here this! You may live in this dwelling with me, but keep in mind your sole purpose for existing is to care for me. I pray God keeps you able to do so.

 

Feed me well and promptly, so that I may find a quiet place to lie down and stare at you. If that place happens to be on top of the television set, do not keep trying to dislodge me even though my tail is hanging in the middle of the picture.

I expect full run of the premises, including the kitchen table. I sniff your food only to see if I prefer it to mine. Brush me twice a week. Pet me as often as you wish, but I can do without the idiotic statements you utter as you do so.

When I bump my head against your leg or cheek, it means I accept you as part of my environment. Keep in mind that if I thought the lady next door would feed me better, I’d be out of here in a minute. If you’re looking for loyalty, get a dog.

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I’m only a horse, dear Master, but my heart is warm and true,
And I’m ready to work my hardest, for the pleasure of pleasing you.
Good corn and hay and water, are all I wish to ask.
And a warm dry bed to rest on, when I’ve finished my daily task.
Make sure my harness fits me and let my head go free For then when the roads are hilly,
I can put out my strength you see. Don’t strike me in needless anger, if I’m slow to understand, But encourage my drooping spirits with a gentle voice and hand.
Finally O my master! when my health and strength are gone,
When I’m getting old and feeble, and my life’s long work is done,
Don’t sell me to cruel owners, to be slaved to my last breath,
But grant me the untold blessing of a quick and painless death;
That, as you have always found me a patient and loyal friend,
The years of my faithful service, may be crowned by a peaceful end;
I plead in the name of my Saviour, Who cares when the sparrows fall,
Who was born in a lowly stable, and knows, and loves us all !

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I wish someone would tell me
what it is I’ve done wrong.
why do I have to stay chained up
and left alone so long?
…the children never walk me
they always say not now.I wish that I could please them,
won’t someone tell me how?

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The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world,
the one that never deserts him,
the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.
A man’s dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and sickness -
He will sleep on the cold ground where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he may be near his master’s side.
He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer,
He will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world.
He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. –
When all other friends desert he remains. -
When riches take wings and reputation falls to pieces,
He is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens.

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Every dog must have a soul
Somewhere deep inside
Where all his hurts and grievances
Are buried with his prideWhere he decides the good and bad
The wrong way from the right,
And where his judgment carefully
Is hidden from our sight.A dog must have a secret place
Where every thought abides,
A sort of close acquaintance that
He trusts in and confides.

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Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when suddenly one stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together’
–Author Unknown

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If it should be that I grow frail and weak 
And pain should keep me from my sleep, 
Then will you do what must be done, 
For this — the last battle — can’t be won. 
You will be sad I understand, 
But don’t let grief then stay your hand, 
For on this day, more than the rest, 
Your love and friendship must stand the test. 
We have had so many happy years, 
You wouldn’t want me to suffer so. 
When the time comes, please, let me go. 
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend, 
Only, stay with me till the end 
And hold me firm and speak to me 
Until my eyes no longer see. 
I know in time you will agree 
It is a kindness you do to me. 
Although my tail its last has waved, 
From pain and suffering I have been saved. 
Don’t grieve that it must be you 
Who has to decide this thing to do; 
We’ve been so close — we two — 
    these years, 
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

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Remember me always, but do not grieve for me too long. I have tried always to comfort you in times of sorrow, and have made every effort to add joy to your life. I never wanted to cause you pain.
Peace for me is certain now, and I suspect I will have eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well.
Please, after your period of grieving for me, make room in your heart for another. You are the kind of human being that should always have a friend like me to love. Your kind and gentle heart should not be wasted on my memory for too long. Give your love to another. I know your
new friend will never take my place, because we
had something very special.
It may not be quite the same, but a new
devoted and loving companion will in time,
become special in their own way.
You loved me very much and I loved you.
My spirit will always be with you, and no
matter how deep my sleep, my grateful heart
will always remember you.”
Author unknown
Dedicated to Precious, 1989 – 2001

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